Rachel Lewis ~ Mooney

Our Precious Angel Rachel Lewis ~ Mooney

I carried you for 39 weeks, and i loved feeling you move, and when you used to kick your daddy. You where our 2nd baby, and we where so excited. Your big brother Liam couldn't wait to meet you. Everything was going so well.

March 2003 ~ I remember getting pains in my back and being in agony when i phoned the hospital and they told me to come and get checked out. Me + Daddy got the hospital and they told me your heart beat was beating to fast. They where keeping me in hospital to monitor your heart rate. They gave me injections to help your lungs incase they decided to deliver you early. How i wish so much they had. I stayed in hospital a couple of days then they sent me home. Your nanny come to look after us for a few days. Then she had to go back home. Everything went back to normal.

2nd April 2003 ~ I took Liam who was only 2 1/2 to toddler group. It took me ages to get up the stairs i was so big with you. By mid morning i started getting pains, i took your brother home and called your nanny & Grandad who come over to look after Liam. I was getting pains every hour now but was not to worried thought braxton hicks you where not due for another 6 weeks wasn\'t time. Mummys friend Lisa come over and took me to hospital. What happened next is something tht will be with me for the rest of my life. I got took in to a delivery room so they could put the heart monitor on to check your lirttle heart beat. I was in there a while with no one checking on me. I got this really bad pain which doubled me over. Lisa ran out to get a midwife. When she came in she strapped me up to a machine to listen to your little heart. She kept trying but then said she was going to get another machine, I saw the worried look on her fasce and i knew but wouldn't belive it. She came back in with a doctor who tried to find your little heart. Thats when they told me they could not find your little heart beat. I went in numb and refused to belive what they where telling me. Lisa went to phone your daddy who was at work nd i did not tell as i did not want to worry him.
The doctor told me they had to do a scan, thats when i saw there was no movement no heartbeat. I was told i had a placenta abruption the whole world seemed to stop and go in slow motion. They gave me a lot of drugs and told me i had to be induced ,and would have to give birth to you. The fear was unreal. Your Nanny & Grandad came over from Runcorn. They induced me at 19:00 that evening. Every thing from there is just a blair. I remember people coming & going. But not much else.

3rd April 2003, I remember the midwifes coming in the room to check on our progress and i was asleep, i remember her waking me up and saying to me your babys here, They told me your head had just come out and never felt a thing you where born just after midnight. You where so perrfect with lots of hair,weighing 5lb 2 1/2 oz. You looked so like your big brother. The emotional pain was unbearable. The love i have for you i can't put into words. Nanny went and got you a lovely dress with cute bloomers underneath. We where luckiy cause we where allowed to keep you with us for as long as we wanted. I got taken to a private room, and you slept in a cot next to me with Daddy.

5th April ~ We got you blessed on this day. All our close family where there. Nanny + Grandad Lewis and Nanny + Grandad Mooney. And that was when your Big brother first met you. This is the day we decided to let the midwifes take you, i hated being apart from you,but they bought you up to us everyday. Your poor Grandad was travelling from Runcorn to Birmingham and back again every other day. They where along with your daddy my rock.

The next few days where sorting out your resting place, And nanny went and got you a beautiful white dress, and grandad got you a lovely bracelet, daddy and i got you a cross + chain, and Nanny + Grandad Mooney got you a heart necklace which we have kept. We came to see you in your dress at the chapel of rest you looked so peacefull, like a princess sleeping. Our Little Angel.
As it was easter weekend we couldn.t have your last day till after the holidays. This was to take place 22nd April 2003, the day after mummys birthday.

Mummy and Daddy and your 2 Nanny's come to say our last goodbyes in the funeral parlour. You looked so beautiful in your white dress. It broke our heart seeing you in your tiny white coffin.

22nd April 2003 ~ I can't remember a lot about this day. I remeber all the flowers being delivered, and all our close family & friends coming to the house. Then the cars arrived with you. We did\'t want you in one of the big cars on your own. So you came in the car with us. Grandad held you on his knee. He carried you in the church to Eric Claptons tears in heaven. Don't remember much about the service. Grandad then carried you out the church to Eternal Flame. He carried you in your tiny white coffin to your resting place. It was heartbreaking watching mt daddy carry his grandaughter, but i felt so proud of him.

Rachel i can't belive you are now 4, I have missed out on so much with you.

You now have a little brother Kieran who was born 23rd April 2004, 1yr 20 days after you , and the day after your funeral. We had a few problems with him, and i had to have a c.section, i know you where looking down on us. He knows all about you. He is lovely and he looked so like you.

Rachel i miss & love you more than words can say. Your our special angel our shining star. Have fun in heaven nursery playing with all your angel friends x x

Always in our thoughts Forever in our hearts x x x

To My Darling Daughter Rachel x x x

I've loved my child right from the start
A feeling that’s filled my entire heart
I went through the labour and suffered the pain
For many long hours with nothing to gain
I've spent sleepless nights being awake
Though it's been a while my arms they still ache
I've sat and I've wondered of how she would grow
The love of my family that she'd come to know
The sound of her voice as she learns to talk
Watching her steps as she tries to walk
I have a child that I really love so
I am her mother yet nobody knows
I spent all those months feeling her grow
I've lived through it all and have nothing to show
I don't get invited to chat with young mothers
Because I don't have a baby like all of the others
I've go some stretch marks that I'd like to hide
But I don't have a pram with a baby inside
The people I’ve known for so many years
They now avoid me, which adds to my tears
I don't know how long I'll be feeling like this
But one thing I know my baby I miss
When Mothers Day comes it will be very hard
I won't have any flowers, not even a card
And just because she's not here with me
I still have a daughter I wish I could see
But one thing I know and this is for sure
I will be her mother for evermore

Author Unknown



Though we'll never know your laughter
Though we'll never dry tour tears
You'll be in our hearts forever
Through our continued years.

Love Always & Forever

Mummy, Daddy, Brothers Liam & Kieran
& All your family
x x x x x x

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
How we wounder what you are
Up above The World So high
Like A Diamond In The Sky

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
How We Wounder
What You Are

Brothers Liam + Kieran x x x